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So you know those pop-up windows that say stuff like "free $250 gift card!!!" and then if you click it you have to buy a bunch of stuff and then they probably still don't give you the gift card? You know how when you see them you think to yourself "who on earth would fall for that?" The answer is me. I would fall for it. And now I've spent 100+ dollars on stuff I don't really want or need, and I'm most likely gift card-less. I wouldn't mind if I haven't been working uber-hard to pay off all of my debt (other than college debt, o' course) before june. I suppose it's not the end of the world, since my tax returns have started rolling in and I have some paychecks coming in over the next couple of weeks. O well, chock it up to experience I suppose.

The saddest thing is that the only reason I clicked in the first place is because the gift card was for Steve Madden. and I'm addicted to Steve Madden. Seriously. My shoe collection consists of nothing else. It's disgusting. So hopefully I *do* get the gift card sent to me, but I most likely won't. I'm going to be optomistic and say that I only really bought things that I most likely would have bought in the next year anyway. Namely, subscriptions to vogue, lucky, and some other choice magazines, a netflix membership, and all of the Harry Potter movies in one of those 49 cent a movie clubs. That's the one I'm most worried about, because I don't know if they're going to keep making me buy movies. God I'm stupid sometimes.

Anyway. Today has been super not-productive. I went to work out with Kelly, and then she had mad errands to run, so I did basically nothing the rest of the day but drive around with her so she could do everything. But it is nice to spend time with the kids, so I'm not complaining.

I moved things around in my room and I like it a lot better now. Once I get everything cleaned , organized and re-hung up, mayhaps I'll give you all a virtual tour. Before it just didn't flow, but now I'm loving it.

Anyway I'm just bored and sitting here while Sophie watches TV. Burning cast recordings of shows that I think that she'll like. She played a couple of Wicked songs for me the other day like it was this new discovery and I laughed and asked her if she wanted the rest of the show. Her mom bought her some blank CD's (because her mom buys her everything) so now I told her I would burn some other shows too. So far I'm thinking I'll give her The Lion King and maybe Grease? I don't know. What does a kid theatre fan like (other than HSM)? I wasn't into it until almost highschool, so I really have no clue whatsoever.

Yeah guys, I'm severely bored. update so I have something to read. Or give me something to do!?! Ask questions. suggest music or movies. anything. I'm dying here.

Okay, so I'm just going to come out and say that I'm looking for some Musical Cast Recordings or Soundtracks of movie musicals OR solo projects of Broadway stars. I produce a weekly radio show where we play  all of these things, but our playlists are getting a little stale. I would buy them, except I'm ridiculously poor and already spent the last of my expendable cash on 5 new shows. I'm going to cut this and leave a list of what I'm looking for, and what I have. No judgements. Let me know if anyone is interested in a trade? That would be awesome...

It's really late. I probably should go to sleep, but instead I'm choosing to post, because I probably wouldn't be able to sleep right now anyway. So let's just ramble. Sorry in advance, this post has no planning or for sure direction. just bear with me. yes? yes.

This weekend was a big jumble. I have to learn how to drive a standard, but the only person in my family who has one is my brother. So, as my dad was taking him to a NASCAR race this weekend, this was the weekend to learn. It didn't go poorly, but it probably could have gone better. Suffice it to say that I won't trying to go up any steep hills in a standard any time soon. I basically have to learn so I can use Julie's car when she and her family go off to London and I house-sit. Since I'm living at their house, it makes it really difficult to share a car with my parents. Julie has no problem with me borrowing hers, she just has a standard. Dilemma. Anyway, that's in May, so hopefully between now and then I can work on it a little more and get it down better. Worst comes to worst, I order a lot of delivery and catch rides to any work things I have. They live in the university district, so delivery is not really an issue.

Saturday my hours got taken away from me by an ex-boss of mine who decided she didn't need me after all for a camp fair at the mall. So I went shopping with my mom. I bought really cute black pumps and polka dotted rubber boots from steve madden. Then some random clothes from random stores. It was definite retail therapy. But I kindof needed some new cute outfits for the Spring, so it was most def necessary.

Today was a terrible and a great day all rolled into one. We had rehearsal from noon to about 4, ran-through the entire show, everyone forgot everything and it was basically awful. So Eileen, Amanda and I had a lot fodder for our weekly venting sessions. You have to understand, we're not necessarily diva's because 1) i complain about the ensemble not knowing their parts, not how good or bad I may think the soloists are. 2) we wouldn't complain if people were on top of their shit and just knew what they were doing in their song. People don't care and their lack of effort is going to kill the first musical-ish production that Le Moyne's music department has produced, which could effectively kill the entire process of building the program.

Anyway, the weird thing that happened was that the more horrible the rehearsal went, the more I decided that I wanted to try my hand at directing a show of my own next Fall. Eileen and Amanda have always been about it, but today they actually started asking me what shows I would want to do. I told them about William Finn's Elegies, played the music for them and showed them some youtube videos of the UMich production. They were all over it, starting to think of which guys we should talk into doing it with us, and saying they would back me up when I went to ask Andy and Bill about getting performance space/ rehearsal time/ minimal resources from the music and theatre departments. Anyway, Ive been really thinking about it, and it could be done. And I think it would be less stressful than when I did a show at MPH because 1)I'm better at piano and if I practices all spring and summer I could probably play piano for rehearsal next fall, (not the show, because i have stage anxiety) and 2) The show is ridiculously flexible. in that you could just cut almost any songs or switch genders/ make them duets, basically do whatever you want to make it work for your cast. and 3)It's not a Sondheim show, so it won't be so hard on the talent. So at this point, I'm starting to get a mock up together so that I'm prepared to argue with andy and bill about the show. and then, starting to get the music together. It's weird that this is the first thing I've been excited about in a long time.

My D drive isn't working. this is so unacceptable.

alright enough rambling. apologies, friends.

<3 Erin

Mar. 27th, 2008

It's long... I'm cutting.

if you get my drift...Collapse )
Looking at all of these icons made me want to start kicking it into high gear with the icon making. When I got my laptop, I stopped using photoshop because I didn't have it (duh). But I just DLed it so hopefully new stuff will be made quite soon.

Anyway, if you got this far, thanks for the loyalty. I wanted to write about a quote I read and dissent and discourse among americans, but I'm pooped. I'll save it for another time.
I'm in the mood to listen to passion. yes.


PS formatting on rich text is a pain in the ass. I need to learn html, stat.
Okay so I just have to start this post by apologizing for the last and thanking everyone for kind words and thoughts. It really wasn't that bad--just an expulsion of a bunch of pent up anxiety and anger. I needed a medium to get it out and livejournal was just sitting there. So yeah. Many apologies and thanks!

On to less interesting and less important things. Shall we start with some general thoughts about life lately. [EDIT: I just realized how ridiculously long this post is. Totes cutting it...]

I should go to bed. I know there was way more that I wanted to write. Maybe I'll just have to post again tomorrow... Goodbye for now!

Erin <3
I am having an absolutely horrendous day. The worst part of it is that I don't even know what is wrong with me, I just keep having horrible pangs of self-loathing. The ABSOLUTE worst part is that when I feel like this, I just want to lay in bed and not talk to anyone for about 48 hours, but my friend Michael is on leave for the holiday and tonight is going to be the last night I can see him before he's deployed next month. So I have to get over it as quick as possible and put on a happy face for that. This isn't going to be fun.

Just had to get that out into the world.

PS happy birthday, SJS.
Blarg. The past couple days have been a big blur of rehearsal and babysitting and not a lot of me time at all. Again, I didn't get to celebrate St. Patrick's Day ( the holiday custom made for people named Erin) because I need to work as many hours as possible before I die. No drinking when you have to babysit that same night... Luckily I was off the hook for Saturday afternoon so I got to run over and see my alma mater's production of Brect's 3 Penny Opera, which was kick-ass but made me think that maybe I still have a lot to learn about theatre.

Then Saturday night, Marc (old Music Theory teacher for whom I now babysit) told me that maybe they wouldn't need me for MWF's during the day (I was keeping the time open/ taking a small break in the hopes that when their other nanny left, they would hire me and I'd have more regular money coming in). So now I'm on the job hunt, which makes me a little nervous, because I've never actually applied or interviewed for a job, just been offered jobs and kind of "applied" in retrospect of signing the contracts. Frustrating and daunting and not fun at all...

<mini-rant> It really bugs me that people in add me communities always write that they like music. seriously? Have you ever met anyone who didn't like music? It's just kind of redic. to me. Wow thanks for that bit of insight into your soul...</mini-rant>

We had rehearsal for like 8 hours today or something. I wouldn't mind except that Michael called during our first-act run and I missed it. The good news is that I caught him during a break and he told me he's coming home next weekend for Easter!!! Hooray. He said he wants to have a small get-together with friends and that he invited Nikki, AC, Erica, MB (his quasi-girlfriend), and Me. Good group, except AC. <back-story> So last month when I was making plans to get down to Princeton for the weekend, I initially decided maybe I would try to get down to Philly first to see Erica, and then take a train over to Princeton later that night. Erica suggested I just grab a ride with AC since he was already driving down to see her that weekend. I didn't want to infringe, so I was SUPER careful to double and triple check that it wouldn't be a problem with anyone, and that I could get back Sunday night for my radio show. All was well, and I was saving about 200 bucks not buying train tickets into the city. FF to about 2 days before my trip. AC calls, is going over plans, decides to tell me he won't drive me to the trainstation Saturday night (kindof a dick move, but I could handle it) I asked him if there was anything else because I had to figure out stuff about train tickets and schedules, and he decides to tell me, "o yeah, I'm not leaving until Monday." just like that, no sorry, just matter of fact. I was o well i guess i have to go get a ticket now, in a tone that completely implies that he was a jerk, and still got no apology.

So in short, I'm mad at him for being a jerk and being unreliable just one more time in my life. But, after telling Michael the story, I decided to just suck it up so that there wouldn't be drama at his dinner. But I haven't forgiven him, and I won't turn to him for help anymore. Yes.

Anyway, now I'm babysitting--skipping my radio show because I need money badly. And my DJ can't do the show alone, because some other jerk Producer decided to unplug the CD mixer, and everyone's shows have to be done completely on iPod. Needless to say, I wasn't really prepared to loan out my iPod to my DJ (and I don't think it's fair for the station manager to ask that of me, or to ask all of their DJs to have an iPod. Anyway, I have to go, because the girls want to go to Friendly's for dinner. Hope all is great with everyone!
I'm killing time before Nikki gets home. so i'll cut the ramblings...

Anyway, and in short, today is a good good day. I love where I am right now in my life. Happy is so good!

<3's Erin

an introductory post of sorts...

So I'm realizing that, with a lot of new friends, it might be helpful to post some pics and set some precedents for what I may talk about later... So yeah, behind the cut are pics and descriptions of family and friends, and possibly a small survey about me.

That's my life in a nutshell. Reading with a third grader is PAINFUL.

<3's Erin


a thought... and some rambling

So I've noticed that I'm going back to old familiar things lately. LJ being one of them. The next being photography (stay tuned for some of that). Finally, I've been either rereading books that I've read already, or books that I was supposed to read in highschool or early college, but didn't because it was highschool/early college. You know what I'm saying here. Anyway I think it's because recently I've had epiphanies where I've been just going about my business and had thoughts about what my 16 year old self would think of me. While I'm working hard and trying my best, I *know* that I'm not where I thought I would be at 22. Then I start wondering if there was ever a time that I settled when I could have done better. I've landed on 3 different times in my life. The first was when I decided to be a lib arts major at Fredonia, instead of continuing to study music to try and get into a program later. The second was my complete inability to make friends at school (it must be said), and my immediate response being to become completely introverted and stop trying. The third is a result (kindof) of both of those. When I decided to transfer, I could have gone anywhere, but I ended up back in Syracuse at Le Moyne because it was the easiest, and safest choice.

Basically, the decisions that I most regret are those that were the safest at the time. I never thought of myself as someone who would be such a coward when it comes to the big decisions, but thinking about it now, I must be. I'm not sure, but I'd like to think that this phenomenon isn't exclusively something that I do. And hopefully some people who have also had to deal with this in the past have been able to kick it at some point in their lives. Anyway, I don't really have a resolution to the problem, but I thought it necessary to identify the issue in case it came up in later entries.

That's all. Except to point out that it's Friday night and I'm journaling because I'm stuck in someone's house babysitting. I really feel like accomplishing something. I need to get photoshop on my lappy so I can work on stuff while I'm away from home. I suppose babysitting on a Friday night is better than working at a store or restaurant on a friday night and watching other people enjoy their weekend. Anyway, <3 to all.